hi. my name is ted. believe it or not, i'm one of patrick's good friends.
like up there with manute and tino good. but you wouldn't know it from
looking at epiclylaterd because i'm never on it. i mean, it's not like i'm
not out with the dudes, i think it's just that i'm a little self conscious
or something.  if you look at his pictures, you will notice that not a lot
of people are posing. for posed, self-conscious people like me, i guess you
could check thecobrasnake.com
something. it's not like patrick doesn't
try to take pictures of me either. it's my fault. everytime that copper elph
is pointed in my direction, i lose all composure and immediately give him a
"check me out, i'm next to athena razo, she's hot!!!" or a "check it out,
totally bro'ing with manute and tino, i seriously know these guys!!!" sort
of face. i don't know why i do that, i guess it's because i'm just jealous
that patricks career is taking off and mine is sort of winding down. i don't
but anyway, i'm  cool with it. i have other, more dignified things to do. i
mean, i would never stoop so low as to sneak into my friends on line diary
and post my own pictures of a trip to sf. that would just be low and
desperate and a bold-faced plea for more coverage...

We started the night out at the fish.  No seriously, it looks like the fish.  Red walls, art, frat guys.  That's Chris Hall  in
the background, and I think that may be Michael Ballard at the bar.  SF is full of skateboarding royalty of past and present.

This is the Frisco version of Nico.  Lots of dogs in bars in San Francisco.

If I lived in San Francisco I would never drink, and I would also probably cut off my penis because I wouldn't need it.

This represents the most fun you could ever have in this moist wet shit of a city. 

Market street at 9:30 in the evening is sketchier than the back
of the Fish any old night...

Second pro sighting of the night

Then we went to lit.  It was full of bike messengers and shit.
...mostly shit.

We then headed to an 18+ club with a $5 cover.  It was full of highschool haircut hipsters and um, you know, no big deal...

This dude.

I saw this guy...

And pretty much did this

check it out i'm seriously with huf right now

Fecal night or something.

at some point i got so bored that i handed over the camera to my
friend alex klein, so he did the rest of the assignment while i sat
in a booth surrounded by dudes with body odor talking about tofu
or something and i cried for the rest of the night

these were the hottest girls in sf

I'm seriously reaching here. I'm trying to come up with shit to write about this place, but nothing is coming to me. 
You know why? Because there is nothing to say.  Awful, just awful.  This is a horrible, horrible place full of bored people. 

fuck this is hard. you have to be seriously
self-obsessed, i mean like dill x1000, to actually keep up an online
journal of your nightly boredom at bars. how do you do it patrick?

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